The new iPhone is coming and instead of speculating on all the rumors floating around the web about what will make this iPhone better than previous models, I thought it would be fun to list some unlikely features that I wish the iPhone 5 would have.  And of course, when Tuesday arrives and the announcements are made, I have no doubt that I will be convinced that the new device will be a necessary addition to my iOS collection.

5 Features Apple Should Release with the iPhone 5

1. Teleportation.  Who wouldn't find this handy?

2. Time Travel.  But Apple would have to restrict the ability for us to go back in time and buy apple stock.

3. Transplants.  Just in case another important CEO were in need of tracking down a liver.

4. Patent Fighter.  If someone steals your brilliant ideas, you can sue them.  Or if some troll tries to put you out of business, you can fight.

5. Phone...oh, wait.